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I belong to a generation that was raised to “just get on with it.” We did not talk about mental health. The mantra was to keep your head down and crack on. I remember my first boss was quite the taskmaster. If you were a minute late in the morning, he would not speak to you, instead leaving the speaking clock on speaker phone to do the talking! The time now is 9.01 and 33 seconds…
My first brush with something resembling a mental health issue was when a close friend opened up about their struggles with panic attacks. I remember so clearly shrugging it off, telling them they were fine and calling them a hypochondriac. I was completely wrong and I did not know any better. I wish I had reacted differently then and been more open to supporting my friend.
A few years later, it was me in trouble. I was working long hours in a high-pressure role, managing people, juggling priorities, constantly switched on. I remember one night after a long day and having drunk too much, I started getting chest pains. I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack, and I was terrified. I was taken to hospital and they did some tests including an ECG. The doctor said “You are fine; how is the stress?”. It turns out, I was having a panic attack.
The panic attacks followed a similar pattern, worries about my health and stress would lead to bad thoughts and getting overwhelmed and then a tightness in my chest leading to being almost paralysed with fear! Not pleasant and even worse knowing that I had been so blasé about my friends challenges with panic attacks.
I remember distinctly one of the worse ones being on the motorway in a traffic jam with my Daughter in the car, and having a particularly bad attack. I felt so incredibly helpless with the dreaded feeling that this was it and I was not going to see my daughter grow up! I would not wish that feeling on anyone! They carried on for years, without me seeking help as I felt ashamed to talk about it. It was only when I plucked up the courage to speak to my friend who had also been through this that she gave me some helpful advice. I am so thankful to her and she remains one of my closest friends.
In my role as a legal recruiter managing flexible lawyers, I have worked with many brilliant legal professionals over the years. One thing is clear, Law can be relentless. The hours, the pressure, the constant expectation to perform. And the quiet belief that being overwhelmed is just part of the job.
I loved the results of my work. I loved the pace, and I certainly did not hate the financial rewards. But I did not take care of myself properly. I did not move enough. I did not rest enough. And I did not stop to realise how far off balance I had become. I was just using coping mechanisms to get by, but I had not fixed the problem.
That started to change when I tried something simple. The BBC Couch to 5K. It got me outside, it got me moving, and over time it transformed more than just my physical fitness. Earlier this year, I completed the London Landmarks Half Marathon. That would have been laughable to me just a couple of years ago. But I have not had a panic attack in over two years, and running has been a huge part of that change.
Too many lawyers I speak to still wear stress like a badge of honour. “It is just part of the job.” It does not have to be. I am not against hard work. I have built my career on it. But I do believe in balance. I believe in recognising when something is off. I believe in giving yourself permission to talk about problems, to rest, to move, to get outside, to breathe.
This Mental Health Awareness Week, whether you are someone going through a difficult time or someone watching from the outside – be kind, be open, be willing to listen. Do not be that guy. Do not be like I was, the one who dismissed a friend when they needed understanding the most. You do not need to have all the answers. Just start with empathy.
Mental health struggles are not always visible. Especially in our industry, where performance is everything and pressure is constant. But they are real. They are common. And they are nothing to be ashamed of.
Even writing this article took me two attempts. No surprise that it is the day I got up at 6am and ran 5K that I managed to finish it.
So no, I am not saying do not graft. And I am not pretending stress does not come with the territory. But I am saying this. Recognise it. Admit it. Talk about it. Do not bottle it up. Get outside, get moving, and find what works for you!
If You Are Struggling, You Are Not Alone
There are some great organisations in the UK offering free, confidential support:
- Mind – mind.org.uk
- Samaritans – 116 123 (24/7 helpline) or samaritans.org
- LawCare – Support for anyone working in law: lawcare.org.uk
- NHS Every Mind Matters – nhs.uk/every-mind-matters
- Shout – 24/7 text support service, text SHOUT to 85258
My Top Ten Tips for Managing Stress and Mental Health
- Get moving – Even 10 minutes outside clears the fog. Running changed everything for me.
- Talk to someone – A friend, a coach, a stranger on a helpline. Just talk.
- Limit screen time – Especially before bed. Give your mind room to breathe.
- Sleep properly – Not just more sleep, but better sleep.
- Nature resets everything – Walk in a park, sit under a tree, look up at the sky.
- Be honest – With yourself first, then with others. If you are not okay, say it.
- Laugh – A proper, belly-shaking laugh. Seek it out. It is medicine.
- Track your wins – However small. A run. A clear inbox. A moment of stillness.
- Cut the chaos – Declutter your desk, your calendar, your mind. Simpler is better.
- Help someone else – Lifting others lifts you. Always.
